MY FIRST TIME........PLAYING POOL

THIS christmas i went out with one of my best friends 'BHARAT' to the local mall. It was christmas and we treated ourselves with desserts.(ofcourse he paid for mine as well). Bharat was keen on playing pool. I had never played pool before infact i never went near a pool table before;leave alone holding the sticks. Since there were other people playing and bharat had no other partner, i knew i had to play. The problem was there were hot babes playing air hockey nearby and i didn't wanted to embarass myself in front of them. so i watched with full concentration how the other guys played. how they held the stick ,how they struck the cue ball. our turn came , people were around us ,watching us.......god i was going to embarass myself....but Bharat told me to get relaxed and chill out cuz it was not a big deal.......but for a guy as gudlooking and handsome as me....embarrassment was a big deal .

we started....bharat made the first pot, my first few shots were as lame as it was expected. but once i figured out how to hit the cue ball.....you guys won't believe....I potted all the solids .....only the black ball left on the table.....Bharat and I were trying to pot it.....it was taking too long...but finally I managed to pot the ball in the desired loop and managed to win the first ever game of pool played by me.....gosh i was so happy......I must tell you guys , infact you all must be knowing that , pool is a slow, sloppy but interesting game...I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAY IT AGAIN.

OVERCOMING ILLNESS.....& being awesome

As you all know, I recently overcame a traumatic and life threatening experience. While I appreciate the “get well” cards, muffin baskets and boob-o-grams you’ve been so kind to send, many of you are under the impression that the 83 major and minor bone fractures (heh) were the most serious injuries I suffered. False. All the time I was fighting a far more insidious and debilitating condition. Feelings.

During my courageous battle against Feelings I discovered, in shock, that the medical establishment has done very little research on this crippling affliction. In fact some physicians even went so far as to claim Feelings aren’t even a life-threatening disease! Luckily for you my PhD in Awesomeness has qualified me to assemble this informative medical pamphlet for any of you who fear you may have contracted Feelings. Keep fighting,INDIA.

ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM FEELINGS?

What Are Feelings?

Feelings are a tender emotional state that develop when a male becomes fixated on a single female to the exclusion of others. Even others with bigger boobs.

Early Warning Signs When you’re around one particular chick, you experience:

•Pounding Heart

•Dry Mouth

•Nausea

•Inability to speak

•Sweating

•Desire to say flattering things

If undiagnosed, these warning signs can quickly develop into the full blown disease…

Symptoms :

•Warm fluttery feelings in stomach

•Lightheadedness

•An unexplained urge to watch Love Actually

•Sudden increase in cuddling occurrences

•Brunch cravings

•Explosive monogamy

•Happiness

•Failure to notice other hot women

•Crosswording

Transmission :

Though correlation remains scientifically inconclusive, studies indicate “hand holding” may play a role in spreading Feelings from one person to another.

Treatment:

At this time the only treatment for Feelings is a multi-week course in Other Women. If symptoms persist, repeat course at a higher dosage. NOTE: This treatment can result in harmful side-effects such as rash, infection, and in some cases, pregnancy.

“Together we can end Feelings”

BEING SINGLE IS AWESOME ........just enjoy the glory and never fall in love.......THANX

ACCIDENTALY IN LOVE.........love hurts!!!!

ACCIDENTALY IN LOVE......................

Today i'm gonna share my stories of being in a relationship, the pros and cons of relationships and break ups.

RELATIONSHIP...no. 1

I was in school, a bright student in standard 9th. this girl her name was ' MAHAK CHAUHAN', became my friend. My group and her group used to hang out together....ok..let me describe her first...she was as fair as a fairy......guys would give anything to have such a fair and beautiful girlfriend. her boobs.....wait lemmme adjust my pants....yes...her boobs..they were as big as melons...far more big and soft than any other girl of her age.....but she was a little plump. one day she said I love you to me..infront of the whole class....and wrote 'I love ANKIT' in the girls bathroom.....though she was the first girl i've kissed.....i had no such feelings for her......dude i don't know what happened to me that moment....i dont know what was going through my mind.........SLAP.....slap......SLAP....i slapped her thrice and rejected her......i rejected someone's true love....without thinking about consequences....without a guilt.......but sometym later when i was mature enouh to understand it...i realised what a grave mistake i've made....and still i feel guilty cuz she never forgave me.

RELATIONSHIP no 2...

lasted for a month.....i dont even know the surname of the girl...though her name was pooja....it was all about kissing, and groping. I dumped her cuz my board exams were near the corner.

Relationship no 3......

For two weeks...a total disaster....I wont mention her name......her ex-boyfriend confronted me...we had a street fight.....luckily it was one on one....we both went down......she got away with someone else...didn't even kissed her

RELATIONSHIP no 4.....

i was in 12th standard......and she was the smartest girl in my class....for past two years we used to hate each other a lot.....but one and a half year without a girl friend frustated me,......because having a girlfriend at that tym was the IN thing......rather say a status symbol. I wont mention her name here......because mentioning her name seems quite painful . so let's call her ' BLAH BLAH'.....funny. ..but it is not.

So I went to her , proposed my fake feelings for her....she refused.....i tried the next day ,she again refused....because she thought i was joking.......next day i proposed her infront of whole class in the chemistry lab.....i was on my knees...(only to impress her...sang her a poem).SHE SAID "YES". i was on cloud nine ..yes i had a girlfriend....gradually after spending some quality time together i went to know her better, started respecting her feelings, stopped being selfish, care for her, i never imagined myself having sex with her...never...my board exams and medical entrance exams were two months away and.....then i realised...that i had screwed bigtym...I WAS IN LOVE. i became possesive , get frustated when she didn't picked up the phone, irritated when she talked to her ex crush...and yes these were not good signs...but when you are in love ,your judgement gets impaired and you cant differentiate between right and wrong...everything seems to be right when things are actually going horribly wrong.....and yes that happened to me.

After our medical entrance exams we broke up....she dumped me. I went to kolkata for a month, got circumcised( my personal choice). when i got back...i asked her to meet up once...and that was enough , I kissed her for the first tym. it was her first and my 100th...though it seemed so fresh....i got her back and things improved between us.....those sweet long chats over the phone.....went on for almost a year...many intimate things happened between us....i made her meet my mom, i was on cloud nine..everything seemed to be going perfect....i was even determined to marry her....but falls 2008 she was taking the entrance exams this year too..( she didn't make it up in 1st attempt, nor did I, I'm doing BBA). we stopped meeting..only talked over the phone......and guess what JULY 4th...america was celebrating it's independence day....and i was being dumped over the phone.....i cried....cried...begged her not to go but wouldn't...she was gone....i grieved...my friends were a great support.....i tried to move on ..but failed . this november i knew i had to meet her once to get her back..........since we hadn't met me in a year...she must have imagined me as the fat guy i used to be....but 7 months of sincere workout had made me more goodlooking, more strong , gave me more confidence, and a perfect body( check out my orkut album). i met her......tried to woo her by my sheer charm...but failed ....then proposed my feelings for her(only this tym they were true), cried my eyes out to get her back...but nothing worked...what i got was a cold shoulder......this tym she

failed to notice my true and genuine feelings for her.

just like I failed to notice my first girlfriends true feelings for me........i realised this after a few days that ' what goes around,comes around'......again my friends helped me move on....and yes i've moved on...but forgetting the times when you truly loved someone , waited endlessly for someone, really cared for someone is pretty hard.....

She broke my heart into pieces......and if i meet her now i'm gonna stab her with that broken piece of my heart.

So i've realised that after the break up i can, give more tym to myself, my studies, my friends and family, my business, my passions.....and i 've paid for what i've done so I await for my true love and i know if i can love truly for once then i can do it again.....with a better and hotter chick.....hi 5

here are few ways how to get over a break up:

1. Feel your Feelings
If you're already in the midst of dealing with a break up you're probably already doing this bit and are looking to move on, but feeling your feelings is an essential part of the healing process.
Some people really struggle with feeling certain feelings, some of us are easier with anger, others with grief. I’d encourage you to explore them all by writing a ‘Grief’ letter to your ‘Ex’. It’s important to know that you’ll never send this letter so you can really explore every aspect of how you feel.
Take the time to explore what you are going to miss and what aren’t you going to miss. What are you angry about? What are you sad about? What do you fear this break up means? What was your part in the break up?

2. Recognise the signal to move on

The signal that you're ready to move on is not just when you start berating yourself. Self hate is not what I'm talking about here. If you catch yourself saying things like 'You are so pathetic!', or 'Get over it loser, she left you.' then you're not ready to move on. It's bad enough that your relationship ended. Don't make it worse by locking in more self hate

3.Do fun things!

Keep adding to your list... listen to loud music, dance around the room, sing your favorite fun song, watch your favorite film on video, go for a run or call a friend. You know the kind of things I mean.
The simple, easy and quick to do ones are the best.

4. Cut all contacts with your ex

delete her phone number, tear her photos and pee on it..it make u feel better and yes she was unworthy...that bitch didn'y deserve my ntrue love...i deserve someone better and hotter.

5.Learn from your relationship
The reason you broke up? The real reason - was that you were either not compatible or communication was poor. To ensure you increase your chances of finding someone to love for life, learn from your past relationships.

6. Start fucking other chicks it will help you better and you will be awesome.....anyways....only after a breakup a person can relish the feeling of being single. those people who haven't been into any relation ship are desperate to get into o0ne and many who are in arelationship are looking forward to bail out.....and those single people who haven't been into any relationship and are proud of being single are the LOSERS cuz they know they wont get a girl until their parents marry them off. So only that person can appreciate the fun of being single who has been into relation ship.....

So now I have emerged as a stronger and mature person than I used to be. I've learnt to love myself and never beleive in relationships . and yes that makes me awesome.....sorry guys for this long post........TRUE STORY.

THE AWESOME TWOSOME

This picture of mine is with my bestest friend, ANUBHAV. after some serious screwing around in school for three years.....i got my real best friend......people have only one best friend but i have five.....and of all he happens to be the bestest. friendship day is celebrated on the first sunday of august but if i could reschedule it i would make it the month of july.....because thats when a serious bond developed between us. the first time i saw him i knew he was just like in all aspects....but after 1st term exams I discovered he was better in studies.......but in rest comparison...we were equally AWESOME. In such a short time we had such great memories ,which are unforgettable....in this post i'm gonna reveal some of them......

1) We spent all afternoon playing on his X-Box.

2) And then we spent all evening...playing on his X-box(sumtyms dhruv tagged along)

3) our snacks and dinner at the GREAT METRO CHEF CART.(eating chowmein is only fun..wen we r together)

4) Our ride on Satvik's scooter...i was driving..he was pillion..we drove on wrong side and we are still not sure if we were riding or say FLYING....

5) Insulting each other openly in front of others....and wen others tried to take advantage of situation...we would simply fuck them.

6) My great sandels and shoes which i changed after years..

7) Partying hard before exams....if anybody stopped us..they wud get fucked again

8) Me failing my physics exams....year after years...i promised him that i wud fail...on the first days our physics teacher walked in.

9) ofcourse our physics teacher ms Yashu..who tormented me for a year.....she was fat old hag..and she predicted that i wud fail my physics board xams....but i scored distinction..and then she got screwed by some alien animal and lost 234 kgs overnite....earlier she weighed 240 kgs...now she has reached size zero...kareena kapoor u have got competition.that old hag even made my ex- girlfriend cry...may she burn in hell....oops sorry hell doesnt take size zeros ......do they?...wat up?

10)Talking on phone for hours.

11)My girlfriend.....a usual topic to fight.

12)Walking tall in the scorching sun, braving the chilly winters and finally celeberating with chicken feista.

13)His attempts to impress jopi.

14)Our home science classses wen we used to check out girls.

15)eating fish curry at my place.

16)adventure island day when Bharat vomitted after a ride.( Bharat is also my best buddy)

17)adventure island dancing where Bharat vomitted again.

18)Bharat's wedding night where he would vomit again....hehehehe(can't help it)

19)Bharat's stories about losing his virginity..we were surprised that he didn't vomitted.hehehe

20)Getting caught by policemen while drinking whiskey.

21)Christmas 2007....we were so drunk that we had no idea who we were...and yes Bharat vomitted that day tooo....seriously.

22)Triple riding on Bharat's scooter...and then bharat didn't vomit....actually i'm surprised

23)Those golden moments when we sat toghether ,ate chicken and abused others..we still do it over the phone.

24)Stories of both of us losing our virginity.

25) Everytym we r together the moment is legendary because we were, we are, we will be BEST FRIENDS and AWESOME for ever................

THE THREE HORSEMEN

As you can see in this very picture that I'm standing at extreme left but at the right position.haha. anyways who are these two guys standing with me......let me introduce them to you, these guys are the best thing ever happened to me after leaving school. no matter how great my college may be...but I openly admit that my college sucks bigtime. I was so very heartbroken at this college...but then i met these two not so gentelmen who had the same opinion about the college and seemed to like me from the very first moment.

anyways..the guy in the centre is ASHISH and the guy at extreme right is CHANDRESH.okay..within two days in college we became good friends and within a month best friends. I'm proud to admit that these guys consider me as their best friend and whenever...i mean whenever or what ever the situation is they only aphone call away. united we stand,divided we fall....so in two years of boresome college life we have managed to make it AWESOME. while writing this blog.....if i call anyone one them and ask them to comeover...they will do it without a hitch......well it feels awkward but they think i'm some kinda cool dude and refer me as their god...yeah i know it's awkward but I'm loving it.......and guess what we are really famous guys at our college......other guys wanna be lyk us....ofcourse they want to because my college is in U.P.......anyways we love to call ourselves THE THREE HORSEMEN.

TWENTY FOUR WAYS IN WHICH WOMEN ARE LIKE FISH

TWENTY-FOUR WAYS IN WHICH WOMEN ARE LIKE FISH
1.Both attracted to shiny objects
2.More fun to catch while drinking
3.Neither travel well
4.There's others in the sea and/or bar
5.Three words: catch and release
6.Both travel in protective groups
7.Small bladders
8.The deeper you go, the scarier they get
9.Their weight largely determines their value
10.[EDITED: My brother has requested that I remove this one from the blog… hint: crabs!]
11.They get all ornery if you try to grab their tail
12.Bears will eat either of them
13.Sometimes I likes 'em wild, sometimes I likes 'em farm-raised
14.You must document great catches or no one will believe you -- video preferred
15.Easier to reel in if you let them wear themselves out first
16.Seen the movie Splash? Case closed
17.Cold blooded. Looking your way.
18.Neither can operate a vehicle
19.They both eat things
20.The harder they shake their tail, the farther they'll go in life
21.Scales are important to each of them
22.They never have to buy drinks
23.Umm… Eggs? Duh
24.Can hook either with a great line

BROTHERHOOD

this fat guy who is choking me in the picture happens to be my brother......he is an absolute idiot but i love him because he is the only person with whom i share secrets,my desires,food,clothing and many things.

today i'm going to tell you about his funny incidents:

1) four years ago, we were bathing together and we noticed a shaving kit of my father forgotten on the washbasin....it actually made us curious....though then we didn't have any facial or body hair...we were unable to figure out where to use it..but my bro knew that was used to shave hair..so he was adamant to try it......what happened next.....he took the razor and shaved off his eyebrows.....result:for one and a half months the family was embaraased to take him out in public.

2)my brother was teased in school for his heavy and large frame.....everyone called him names.....but mom told him not to react or fight with anyone at school...so he tolerated the humiliation without any word.....wat happened next...one day.....few guys thinking my bro as a total loser cornered him....and beat the crap outta him..he returned home all bruised and beaten......mom was furious she told him...that not to fight means,not get beaten atleast...she told him if some one hit him...give them tit for tat...next day.....those three guys again cornered him.....but this tym my bro......made them eat shit..he brutalized each guy and broke their cranium leaving them senseless and bleeding..........moral:dont underestimate anyone......

3)his tuition teacher caught him masturbating while watching porn......i dont know how...but he sold that porn dvd to his teacher for 50 bucks.......he has a great hidden talent..and our mom never found out about it.

so people what do u 5think about my bro.......